The History of Shmat Records
... from the Shmat Records website
Once upon a time, there were many, many Peoples in the world. These Peoples would often listen to music coming out of shiny black discs that they would place on top of groovy silver boxes. They would all get together and have a party and drink mashed strained fermented grain and have a general good time.
After awhile, the Peoples invented other ways to listen to music. These involved magnetized particles on plastic tape, funny plastic metal disc sandwiches, and boxes that made streams of numbers into music. They'd put devices on their ears, in their vehicles, in their pockets, and in their houses. The Peoples were all goodly happy, because the interesting music they liked was readily available and there was a huge variety of it. Lots of Peoples Money was being happily traded for the plastic metal sandwiches. And there was still much fermented grain being drunk.
But among the Peoples who created the plastic metal sandwiches, there began movement of some really cragee Peoples who decided that they could get boatloads more Peoples Money by concentrating only on the music that tended to bring them the most of it. So whenever a particular sandwich made a lot of Peoples Money, they'd encourage and promote and create sandwiches that sounded very similar. Eventually, all the sandwiches sounded same. Everyone listened to what everyone else listened to. This was ok for the majority of the Peoples, but quite a few of them were sad that the music had become very boring, very lackluster, and sometimes very, very stupid.
Then came the One Shmat. He brought with him an idea that there should be variety and differences in the styles of music being made. He also noted that if certain Peoples didn't like the types of the music in the mainstream sandwiches, they could make their own and distribute it to other like-minded Peoples. So the One Shmat gathered up a few Peoples and formed a group in a town called Alhambra dedicated to releasing interesting music sandwiches that didn't cost too much. Sometimes the sandwiches had music that wasn't quite as sonically pleasing to certain Peoples, but the One Shmat said that this wasn't as important as providing different types of music.
The One Shmat decided to call his group of Peoples:
+ light sleeper *pop song
+ tigerella *tidepool
+ carte blanche *summer's end
+ avoidance theory *neck of the works